Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Interest vs. Commitment

I recently came across this thought and once again, someone has put into words what I've often questioned/thought about. Just because I'm interested in something doesn't mean I'm meant to live it or experience it.

I have lots of interests... resourceful crafting, upcycling, gardening, homesteading, running, eating healthfully, traveling, creating art, outdoor living... and I could go on! I don't think there's anything at all wrong with trying out the things I'm interested in. At one point I was very intrigued with tiny house living. We experienced that in our RV. We lived very well in a small space BUT after living that small for a year, we realized we like a bit more space! So yes, I was interested; tried it; and realized that it is something I'm not committed to.

Same thing with gardening: I LOVE the idea of having a functional garden (doesn't even have to be extravagant or beautiful) where we would eat a lot of our meals from and therefore save money at the grocery store. BUT when it comes down to all the work it takes to maintain a garden here in Central Texas... yea, not committed. It was actually pretty easy and convenient to have a garden in Colorado - no bugs, short growing season, rare 100-degree temps) and I did enjoy it there because of the convenience of it!

This goes right along with something else I've been wrestling with... Just because something is fun for someone else doesn't mean it's fun for me. I've got to stop trying to enjoy the things I wish I enjoyed and start enjoying the things I actually enjoy doing! I want to enjoy homesteading and gardening and living off the land and maybe even living off grid... but that's just not me. And I don't think any amount of work I do to try and change what I like will help me like it more. If something is fun for me, then I will look forward to doing it and find it energizing, not draining.

God made me the way I am for a purpose. Who am I to deny who he made me to be because I want to be someone else. Or even like someone else! There is no one like me anywhere. I can choose what I do but I cannot choose what I like to do. I need to relinquish my fantasies of what I wished I found fun and that will allow me more room to do the things that I do find fun! I am happier when I accept my own real likes and dislikes, instead of trying to decide what I ought to like.

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