Adventures...

Authentically me...

My "one word" for 2013 is authentic. I thought I'd share some thoughts and things I've learned in living out my word. Some days I'm so "confused" as to authenticity in my life... and other days, I'm right on it!

• Slow is a word that keeps coming up to go with living authentically. For me, it's slowing down enough to hear my own voice which I constantly pray is the Holy Spirit inside me. Slowing down even in simple tasks like sweeping (how the name of my blog came to me) is hard for me. I'm a "get-it-done-quickly-but-well" kinda gal. But being intentional about being in the task I'm doing is what this year has been about for me. One of my challenges for September was to hoop 30 minutes a day for 30 days... So I would set my timer on my Iphone and turn up the Itunes radio and get after it. Well, I found myself wanting to check to see how much time I had left often! When I caught myself doing this, I reminded myself to just enjoy the time and the "hooping flow" as I've heard it said. It made it more than just a thing to check off my list each day. I started actually looking forward to it most days. And yes, I did it every single day for 30 days!

• I truly feel like our home is authentically us. We still have a lot we want to do and that will come in time, but what we've done so far fits us and a lot of it we agreed on and some things we've compromised between each others likes. But a couple of months ago I felt a restlessness that I wasn't sure what to do with. Maybe we've been on the move so much for the past 4 years that it's hard for me to think of settling down in one place. I know that my heart's desire is to be content where I am. So I'm working on seeing what I have been blessed with and not seeking what's on the other side of the fence. I have a great life and am appreciative of it. I just see so much more and wonder if that's where I *should* be! =) Now that a couple of months have passed since I wrote this down, I am feeling much more content here in Small Town, Texas. This lifestyle has so much that we adore!

•  Two quotes that spoke to me recently: Nurture an inner life instead of concentrating on the outer trappings to achieve personal harmony. (This may be key to my "bloom where you are planted") and, Invest my emotions in authentic expression and not in specific outcomes. (Relinquish all expectations).

• I'm growing out my gray hair... again. No more coloring for me. I just turned 52 and I'm okay with that. I don't feel the need for people to think I'm 10 years younger and there's a lot of freedom in being just who I am. This is my second time around for going "natural" and I even said before I'm never coloring my hair again, yet I gave in. Fighting roots is just not a battle worthy of my time or money. 

• Still exploring who I truly am and getting out of my comfort zone. I tend to think in terms of "if it's uncomfortable, it must not be me"... but I don't think that's entirely true. I do want to grow and change in ways that are beneficial to me and also just try new things that interest me to see if I'm committed to those things... which involves leaving my comfort zone.

I love the way focusing on one word for an entire year is a way of learning more about myself at the same time changing in ways that I desire. I don't actually sit down each month and make goals toward authenticity. It's more of an organic flow or movement. And a lot of it is in thought which leads to changed behavior. 

Interest vs. Commitment

I recently came across this thought and once again, someone has put into words what I've often questioned/thought about. Just because I'm interested in something doesn't mean I'm meant to live it or experience it.

I have lots of interests... resourceful crafting, upcycling, gardening, homesteading, running, eating healthfully, traveling, creating art, outdoor living... and I could go on! I don't think there's anything at all wrong with trying out the things I'm interested in. At one point I was very intrigued with tiny house living. We experienced that in our RV. We lived very well in a small space BUT after living that small for a year, we realized we like a bit more space! So yes, I was interested; tried it; and realized that it is something I'm not committed to.

Same thing with gardening: I LOVE the idea of having a functional garden (doesn't even have to be extravagant or beautiful) where we would eat a lot of our meals from and therefore save money at the grocery store. BUT when it comes down to all the work it takes to maintain a garden here in Central Texas... yea, not committed. It was actually pretty easy and convenient to have a garden in Colorado - no bugs, short growing season, rare 100-degree temps) and I did enjoy it there because of the convenience of it!

This goes right along with something else I've been wrestling with... Just because something is fun for someone else doesn't mean it's fun for me. I've got to stop trying to enjoy the things I wish I enjoyed and start enjoying the things I actually enjoy doing! I want to enjoy homesteading and gardening and living off the land and maybe even living off grid... but that's just not me. And I don't think any amount of work I do to try and change what I like will help me like it more. If something is fun for me, then I will look forward to doing it and find it energizing, not draining.

God made me the way I am for a purpose. Who am I to deny who he made me to be because I want to be someone else. Or even like someone else! There is no one like me anywhere. I can choose what I do but I cannot choose what I like to do. I need to relinquish my fantasies of what I wished I found fun and that will allow me more room to do the things that I do find fun! I am happier when I accept my own real likes and dislikes, instead of trying to decide what I ought to like.

a u t h e n t i c

authentic - adjective: of undisputed origin; genuine; made or done in the traditional or original way.

Synonyms: genuine, true, real, veritable, original

A common definition of authenticity in psychology refers to the attempt to live one's life according to the needs of one's inner being, rather than the demands of society or one's early conditioning.  Source.

I'm still not sure where this focus on authenticity is going to take me this year and I like that! I'm a list girl. Give me a list of things to do and I will do them, checking them off as I go. But part of me wants to be more of a free spirit. Going where God leads. Embracing where I am, but not so firmly planted that I am not able to pick up and go or do where and when He leads. 

While I will focus on authenticity in 2013, I don't want it to be totally focused on me. From what I understand, the more I get to know God, the more I get to know me. I do want to be aware of my inner soul and what it desires, enjoys, embraces and loves. I'm going to be asking myself... is this something I really want to do... or am I doing it because I think I'm supposed to do it. When I see something I admire in another person's life, is it necessarily something for me? or is it something I just admire?

I'm reading Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking. I just started reading it but so far it is very interesting! I'm an introvert. And from my experience, extroverts are more valued in our American society. So this is an interesting part of my journey towards authenticity... embracing the introvert and living true to myself. 

I'm still not sure how much of this year-long journey to authenticity I will share, but I will blog about some of it!

One Word 2013 {authentic}

“When we are alive, acting on the deep callings to love, serve, create and try new ways of living, we are cultivating ‘heaven on earth’ here, now.” ~Kathy Escobar

Once again, I've debated continuing to blog or not... I don't truly consider myself a writer, nor do I have a "need" to write. I journal "old school"... I have a group of online friends that I write to about life things. I have met some wonderful people through this blog and even though I read their blogs it's nice to "offer" a little something back. So I'm still not sure if I will continue to blog or not... I'm going with the flow.

Which brings me to my word of the year... authentic. For the last few years I've chosen a word to focus on for the year in place of resolutions. The key for me is keeping that word in front of me throughout the year in various ways. Blogging about it is one way (although I didn't blog the previous years I had chosen a word).

I went through a couple of "exercises" to come up with my word for the year. I ended up being overwhelmed as I had too many words to choose from. So I took a day off from thinking about it. I prayed for clarity and a word from God. 

My two desires for 2013:

1. I want to truly get God's love for me

2. I want to live freely - not live by shoulds.

 

Then asked myself what word come from those two desires... I actually came up with two words (of course).

 

Free - freely accepting... Because of God's love I am free to be who I am - free spirit.

 

Authentic - God loves me for me. He made me unique and wonderful. I want to live authentically honoring who He made me to be... authentically me.

 

Then in Jesus Calling read this...

 

I am leading you along a way this is uniquely right for you. The closer to Me you grow, the more fully you become your true self - the one I designed you to be. Because you are one of a kind, the path you are traveling with Me diverges increasingly from that of other people. However, in My mysterious wisdom and ways, I enable you to follow this solitary path while staying in close contact with others. In fact, the more completely you devote yourself to Me, the more freely you can love people... Enjoy the adventure of finding yourself thru losing yourself in Me.

 

Thank You Jesus for answered prayer! So I'm down to two words and just because I like the word AUTHENTIC more than the word FREE... I'm choosing authentic for my 2013 word.

 

Did you  make resolutions for 2013 or did you choose a word to focus on for the year? I'd love to hear about it!